A couple of years ago, I wrote an article for SquareTwo detailing my attempts to overcome my idol worship of marriage. [1] I had concluded that I needed to order my priorities more appropriately. I had, unintentionally, put my desires for marriage and children ahead of God and my relationship with Him. All of this had come to my attention at the beginning of a new relationship, which was quickly becoming something more serious than any of my previous ones. Through deep, personal reflection and concerted spiritual effort, I was able to make many of the necessary adjustments. And with God back in the number one spot, my budding relationship bloomed into something not only emotionally satisfying but also spiritually refining. Spoiler alert: I ended up marrying the man I was dating at the time I penned that piece. In January of this year, we welcomed our precious baby girl, my first child, into the world, our hearts, and our home. It has been a remarkable season of personal and familial growth and development. Granted, I am still very new to motherhood with all its many beautiful blessings and soul-stretching trials, but I have been stunned by how much it has already taught me in such a short span of time.
Lesson 1: Trust Myself, but More Importantly, Trust God
For context, at the beginning of each year, I select a New Year’s mantra rather than setting New Year’s resolutions. I then anchor all my short- and medium-term goals to this mantra. This, in turn, creates an overall theme for my year moving forward. I had picked up this annual habit during graduate school after I was introduced to the concept through an online article. [2] While contemplating my mantra for 2026, I knew I wanted to choose something that would help me navigate the new frontier of motherhood. As I pondered and prayed about it, I eventually came up with the following: “I trust myself while remaining open to influence.” The first part, “I trust myself”, was a nod to my hard-won self-knowledge through personal experiences, as well as a reminder that I am firmly rooted in my personal values and capable of extending myself grace as I seek to overcome my weaknesses. The second part, “open to influence”, was meant to remind me to stay adaptable, teachable, and humble. I recognized that motherhood would be a learning curve, but that I also have a lot of life experience to draw from, as well as other people to help guide me along the way. I knew I needed to strike a balance between my natural instincts/personal experiences and the advice of outside sources.
As I progressed in my pregnancy, I started noticing times when those two things (my personal take on something and input from others) would be in direct opposition to one another. I quickly realized I needed to pull in a third element into my decision-making process: the Spirit. I would be asked my opinions and plans on everything from labor and delivery to vaccinations, parenting strategies, college funds, etc. The overwhelm was real, especially when I felt like I didn’t have an immediate answer for the inquirer. But God calmed me repeatedly with gentle but firm reminders of who I am. Through the Holy Ghost, He whispered to my heart constantly that as one of His covenant-keeping daughters, I am entitled to personal revelation. He further emphasized that I would be able to receive revelation specific to my new role as a mother. He would be more than willing to guide and direct me in raising one of His precious daughters because of His deep, abiding love for both her and me. If I was willing to ask, He was willing to answer. [3]
I put this assurance to the test following the birth of my baby girl, asking Heavenly Father for help with…well, nearly everything. I have prayed for the gift of discernment to understand her various cries and what they mean. I have sought divine guidance on how to word a particular concern to her pediatrician. I have asked for inspiration on how to improve her bedtime routine for a better night’s sleep (for both of us!). And, thanks be to God, I have been blessed with answers and tender mercies as I’ve reached out to heaven for assistance. My understanding of and appreciation for the revelation process have been deepened through these experiences.
Because I strive to keep my covenants and remain worthy of the Spirit’s constant guidance, I can trust myself to not only seek guidance from the correct source but also be able to receive and interpret the answers that come from a loving Heavenly Father. I have learned to trust myself, but even more importantly, to trust Him in all things.
Lesson 2: Motherhood Involves the Literal Soul of Wo(Man)
“And the spirit and the body are the soul of man” (D&C 88:15). Never has this verse meant more to me than while in the midst of laboring and delivering my little girl. A few weeks before I went into the hospital, a dear friend reached out via email to wish me the best as I prepared to cross the metaphorical threshold. She said, “Remember, it's not something happening TO you...it is something Heavenly Mother is doing WITH you. Trust your body…unite your spirit behind your body's efforts rather than try to dissociate from your body…” I soon found out her advice was spot on!
Before, I had thought of birth as mostly a physical endeavor, but as I pushed and struggled to bring my daughter into this mortal realm, I could feel the way my spirit was intimately involved as well. My spirit seemed to be calling out for my daughter’s spirit, anticipating with great joy her impending arrival. My spirit and body (my literal soul as defined in our scriptures) were working together to bring one of God’s children to her mortal probation. One soul calling out, sacrificing, and laboring to help another soul move forward on her eternal journey.
Then came the moment when the nurse laid my little girl on my chest. I gazed down at her and felt my soul (body and spirit) relax into a quiet but nearly overwhelming satisfaction; she was finally here! Then I looked up at my husband, who was visibly moved. He later described how he doesn’t know how anyone could not be deeply touched while watching the miracle of childbirth. As my friend had described, childbirth was meant to be a spiritual experience, unifying a woman’s soul as body and spirit labor in collaboration, working to help fulfill our Heavenly Father’s plan for one of His children.
Motherhood will no doubt bring challenges that impact my spirit, my body, and my mind on various levels. The trick will be to not let those challenges create divisions among my various parts, but to stay united and whole by nourishing all aspects of my being, all parts of my soul. If my mental health is suffering, my spirit will be negatively impacted. If my physical health is failing, my mind will certainly feel the effects. And if my spirit is being neglected, the rest of me will notice, whether consciously or subconsciously. I cannot focus on one component of my being to the detriment of the others. For me, the act of childbirth reinforced the truth that all things are spiritual in nature; nothing is solely temporal in this life. [4] And I need to hold on to that truth moving forward and use it to guide my future decisions, especially in my role as a mother.
Lesson 3: God’s Love Can Be Experienced in Multiple Ways
While I have always considered myself a relatively compassionate individual, my ability to sympathize and empathize with others has been intensely magnified since becoming a mother. I have found myself more sensitive to suffering and sadness than ever before. I assumed the sensitivity was mostly due to postpartum hormonal shifts, but it has not dulled or lessened over time. When I think about others experiencing pain, grief, loss, or loneliness, my heart aches in a much deeper and more poignant way. I used to think of such things with a sense of compassion and general sorrow, somewhat detached but able to sympathize to at least a certain level. Now, however, I find myself more easily moved to tears, more prone to inwardly groan with the weight of such things. All those heavy emotions feel more real, more in-my-face at any given moment.
I feel like I can more easily see God’s children as He sees them. I look at others and can see them as His sons and daughters in a more tangible way. I understand a bit better how He has hopes and dreams for them and the pain it causes His heart, as their father, when those are not realized. When I imagine my little girl experiencing the hardships of life, I better understand how God can weep over His children as they struggle through mortality. [5] I see the necessity of her hardships and suffering to grow and develop, but that does not make it any easier for me as I anticipate watching her wrestle with life’s challenges and trials.
Previously, I had experienced God’s love for others through my identity as a fellow child of God, experiencing life with my spiritual brothers and sisters. I loved others through that lens of sibling affection and concern. But now, having a taste of what it is like to love a child of my own, I can also see through the lens of parenthood. I can experience, albeit on a much smaller scale, the parental love God has for His children. Both types of love, both lenses, are important, but they are distinct and come with their own particular dynamics. The parental love lens has softened me towards the perceived shortcomings and faults of others. I more readily see them as trying their best, doing what they can with what they have to work with at any particular time. There is an added measure of patience that I simply did not have when I viewed others as only my siblings. To truly be able to see others as God’s children, His sons and daughters, His little boys and little girls, has opened up a much softer, gentler side of me, a side that I believe brings me another step closer to those Christlike attributes I am striving to attain.
Conclusion
The further development of those Christlike attributes will be a lifelong pursuit, but I am thankful for the spiritual boost provided as a wonderful side effect of motherhood. As I continue to grow into my role as a mother, I anticipate learning countless other lessons, both spiritually and physically, mentally and emotionally. I am grateful for what I have already learned; I am excited to see what else God has in store for me along this journey!
NOTES:
[1] Alley, Ashley (2024) “Marriage as an Idol”, SquareTwo, Vol. 17 No. 1 (Spring 2024), https://squaretwo.org/Sq2ArticleAlleyMarriageIdol.html accessed 10 April 2026. [Back to manuscript].
[2] Abdou, Jenny (2017) “This Entrepreneur Traded Her New Year’s Resolutions For A Yearly Mantra”, Fast Company, online article, https://www.fastcompany.com/40508579/this-entrepreneur-traded-her-new-years-resolutions-for-a-yearly-mantra accessed 10 April 2026. [Back to manuscript].
[3] See Matthew 7:7 [Back to manuscript].
[4] See D&C 29:34 [Back to manuscript].
[5] See Moses 7: 28 and 41 [Back to manuscript].
Full Citation for this Article: Alley, Ashley B. (2026) "Spiritual Lessons from Early Motherhood," SquareTwo, Vol. 19 No. 1 (Spring 2026), http://squaretwo.org/Sq2ArticleAlleyEarlyMotherhood.html, accessed <give access date>.
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